I'm begging you to beg
I want you to want me.
Nathan's birthday was yesterday and I took him to see "Where the Wild Things Are," and it was so good! By the way, never buy soft drinks at the movie theater, so not worth it, you just have to pee during the movie and you never can finish that big of an overpriced soda. We had some great pizza for lunch and talked about how beautifully done the movie was and how it was similar and different from the book. I love spending time with him, we can go out and do things or just sit on the couch and watch tv and we have a great time just being together. He always knows when something is going on in my brain and he knows just how to get me to open up about it. He has great dreams for the work he does at his church and such a passion for people and service that it inspires me.
In general, my life lately has been pretty great lately. I stay busy with Suzie's Monday- Thursday 7am-1pm, and Lane Bryant (Land of the Giants) once or twice a week for 5 hours, plus my original job at the church which is supposed to be about 10-15 minutes a week. I also try to spend some time with Liz, and of course Nathan, and try to talk to you guys every once in a while. I really like being busy, on my days off, I don't know what to do with myself and I actually find it so much harder to go back to work when I've had days off than when I just go every day.
My greatest temptation right now is to put my church work last because everything else seems so much more pressing, but I can't do that, because it is the most important thing I am doing. I want my teens to know how much God loves them, how they can have a lasting relationship with him, how church shouldn't be about a bunch of rules, but about how we can learn more about God and about how to live out our love for him in our lives and among our friends. I want them to know how to read their Bibles and think for themselves, how to disagree with common misconceptions, how to stand up for what they believe in when faced with oceans of doubt. I'm getting a little bit frustrated because I'm letting them get too rowdy. I rarely ever tell them to be quiet, I want them to want to pay attention and learn. But in the process, I think I may be letting it get to where I'm more of a friend than a pastor. I'm not much of a commanding presence, I have no special way of speaking, I don't assume that just because I am a pastor, I automatically know everything and am an expert who should be listened to. While I want them to feel at home, to express their energy and to have a good time, they should give me the same respect they give their other teachers, or at least their Sunday School teacher. How do I do that? How do I earn that? Any suggestions?
